12 months ago today I sat down at my laptop and wrote about the delusion of New Year’s resolutions; how January 1st is not some magical day where we can automatically change our lives, because whatever we resolve to do, we already had the capacity to do so.
However what I didn’t approach was the mindset that the end of the year holds, and how it’s not just a time for pretending you have a completely new slate but also a time to reflect on the year that was.
…time
12 months ago I sat down at my laptop and decided to write a blog post for every Sunday of the year. As the months passed, my deadline changed to Monday morning, then to Tuesday and eventually not at all. It has now been over four months since my last blog post, and over five since the last edition of ‘this week I learned’.
When I sat here last year what I didn’t consider was the enormity of the time of a year, nor the management skills to be able to research, prepare and write a post every week. That’s not to say I didn’t have the time, but as the year went on the motivation to continue my Sunday evenings in the same way dropped. What had started off as a fun and exciting way to build my writing skills became a tiresome and laborious task I no longer looked forward to.
A common perception of time is that it “changes people.” With that in mind, we ourselves change and so do our perceptions of things. This year I have had many experiences where my perception has been changed by time, whether it’s a week, a month or half a year. No matter what we approach or resolve in life, our perception of it changes as we do. This year I’ve learned that I can’t change that perception back, but there are ways to make it feel new again.
…mindset
That brings me onto one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year, that of mindset.
Whatever goals or challenges I’ve taken on this year I’ve succeeded or failed because of the mindset I was in. Particularly when it comes to exercise, changing your habits doesn’t just mean jumping onto the next fad, it means changing your whole lifestyle as to what you’re eating and how you exercise.
With work and blogging this year I became comfortable, and with that lost my motivation to be challenged. Once that motivation is gone it can be hard to get the inspiration back for the long term. One thing I learned this year is that “commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do, long after the mood you said it in has left you.”
…friendship
A change in mindset has never been more important than when it comes to the people I love. This year saw some changes for me on the friendship front, but none more so than my own approach to friendship. It’s all very well to be talking to people regularly online, but as we all know we also need that face to face interaction.
Having moved further away from many of my friends a bit over two years ago and then working weekends, I began to notice how gradually lonely I had become. The best lesson I’ve learned this year is from my best friend and partner.
Everyone is busy with their lives. If you want to see people more, you have to make the effort.
Of course, this isn’t to say that other people don’t make the effort as well. This year I’ve had monthly catch ups with friends on mutually arranged terms, and also become closer to other friends who are brilliant at checking-in regularly. As always there are some people I haven’t seen nearly enough of, but this is a lesson I’m still learning. And this, more than anything, I will take not just into 2015, but all the years to come.
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This year I learned how to make the lessons of 2014 fully sink in. So to all my family and friends, have a happy and safe New Year’s Eve.
And remember, you don’t need to resolve to do something new in 2015.
You already had the power to do it.
